social media

Out of excuses

by 2clouds

It is quite obvious just how much I have been neglecting this blog. And I find myself out of excuses as to why I have not been writing. Putting procrastination aside (which is clearly the main reason), my job has also taken up much of my time and afterward, simply resting from work.

And since I have my freelance work, I can still claim that I write every day. Or most days anyway.

But it is not the writing I want to do. In fact, it is quite tedious at times as I am not engaged in the topics I write about.

The discovery that I feel most inspired to write when I am traveling is somewhat helpful. But it would kind of mean that I should take trains more often to places I’ve not been before. As lovely as that sounds, it is currently not feasible. I have a commitment to my job, which I actually enjoy doing as well.

But I do know that once I’m done with it, I will move on – quite literally.

If I have no reason to stay, it will be time again to leave.

Until then, I can’t wait for the next trip to happen and to feel in the mood for writing. It’s not as if I feel that I have nothing to say when I’m sitting at home. Quite the contrary. I always have something to say.

I watched this video on YouTube yesterday, where this guy talked about his Dopamine detox experience for the past year. He didn’t just do it for a day or a week. He went for an entire year on this journey, and it was very interesting. He was incredibly blunt, and I am not exactly his target audience (young guys are), but that doesn’t mean I didn’t get something out of it.

I know I’ve fallen into the same trap as so many others when it comes to instant gratification. Scrolling through Instagram to read yet another uplifting post, cliché, or watching the umpteenth video of a cute parrot or parakeet.

Or deep-diving into YouTube, watching videos about minimalism, financial stability, traveling, backpack reviews, and whatnot.

But all I do is watch. Or read. I kill time. I’m not doing anything. And I tell myself I deserve a break.

Sometimes that is even true. But who needs to spend hours on social media? Sure, I take some valuable lessons away and some things do stick. But beyond that, I am not moving at all. In any direction. Or with purpose.

Another video I watched talked about how fatal inaction can be. Letting everything happen to you and not taking action. Whether that is writing a journal, going for a walk, doing that work-out, paying off that debt, approaching someone new, or even just saying no to more work on your plate.

There are so many ways in which we can and should take action but never do. We feel powerless and let things happen. We let our lives happen to us instead of taking charge of it. How is that acceptable?

Sure, there is a time and place for social media. It can serve a purpose. But surely not for hours at a time.

And feeling like a slouch on your sofa and complaining about that flabby belly is not going to improve by eating more junk food and putting off yet another walk or work-out.

I’m officially out of excuses.

Let’s get going.

Behind in life

by 2clouds

Unless you are phenomenally successful with whatever you do, you may very well have moments that you feel behind in life. You check your social media, see postings of old acquaintances, classmates, distant friends and a range of celebrities you may follow and wonder why you are not where you thought you should be at this point in your life.

Why is seemingly everyone more successful than you, has ‘got it together’ and gets to post about it when you are stuck in your same old life, wanting more, more, more and having no clue how to go about it?

What is success?

This is probably the first question we should ask before we delve any deeper. What do we define as success? Owning a car at 25, getting a mortgage to our first home at 30 or 35? Having started a family by then? Being famous and rich in our chosen field? Or at least moderately recognised? Being able to afford five exotic vacations every year?

What is it you actually want for yourself? Are you keen on having a car and all the expenses that come with owning it? Do you want to be tied down by a 25-year mortgage? Were you planning on having 2.5 children with the next best person to show up?

Is your path in life defined by these conventional milestones?

Admittedly, I do wonder where I am at in life sometimes, if I couldn’t be more successful, completely debt-free, have published half a dozen books already and maybe think about buying an apartment.

But that’s not where I am. I’ve made decisions in life that took me down a different path. And you know what? I’m happy that I made those decisions. I got to travel and live overseas for ten years. I’ve had some of the best experiences of my life doing that and nobody will ever be able to take that away from me.

Yes, I traded in other experiences, but I can only have one life. I have to choose. We all do. I may not have had success by conventional standards. But I have incredible memories and made wonderful experiences and they brought me happiness. They will continue to make me happy for the rest of my life. That is what I call success.

Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves?

Because here we are, comparing ourselves to others. This is easier than ever thanks to social media. Whether it is Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, we follow people we know and don’t know, those we want to stay in touch with or whom we admire.

You see an old classmate, who is obviously your age, posting about their accomplishments and inevitably feel that twinge of envy because they have more than you do and are already ‘further’ along the road.

Why? Do you truly want what they have?

Why do we compare ourselves to others? The only standard that should count is the one we choose for ourselves. If you have a goal and don’t reach that, you can still beat yourself up over it. But don’t set it arbitrarily based on conventions others may have set.

Is there a way to ‘catch up’?

Look only at your life and set expectations that are realistic. You want to be rid of your credit card debt? Come up with a payment plan to pay off a reasonable amount every month. Set goals you can achieve. There’s no point to set yourself up for failure.

This goes for every other goal you may have as well.

We don’t have to catch up to anyone else. Their lives are none of our business. However they got to where they are, you can bet they have faced their own struggles, probably still are. And no life is ever as happy or successful as social media makes it out to be.

If you feel the need to ‘catch up’ to anyone else, don’t let yourself be driven by envy. If anything, find someone who is already at a point you hope to one day reach but let them inspire you. This isn’t a race.

Nobody is keeping score and if you are, you should stop doing that.

You get to define what counts as success to you. Sometimes it is a success to get out of bed, shower, eat and do some chores. Other times it is finishing a project at work and receiving well-deserved praise for it.

I firmly believe that we are never behind in our own lives. Not if we manage to be happy with where we are at. And that is only possible if we own our past decisions and accept that we chose this path for a reason.

Sure, we all go wrong sometimes, we make mistakes and stupid decisions. But we need to own those too. Our failures are as important on this journey as our successes.

Sometimes I look back at the path I took, wondering how I got here and what it would look like if I had made a different choice elsewhere. I can identify some key crossroads, where fundamental decisions would have changed my trajectory.

Then I realise that I am happy with where I am at. And I can never know where else I may have ended up if I had chosen differently. If the multiverse exists, another version of me made that decision, which is strangely comforting. But I will never meet her so that she may tell me of her experiences. I have this life to worry about and work on.

And yes, I do still have goals to accomplish. Plenty of steps to take to get there. If I never manage to reach some of those goals, it’ll be okay as well. Because whatever I do to get there, I will make sure that I live my life well and that I am happy. That’s all the success I ultimately need.

Mental decluttering

by 2clouds

Do you ever feel as if everything is crowded in your head? As if your brain is about to overload? A million thoughts, ideas, bits of information and impressions have all gathered and cram inside your skull with nowhere really to go.

This happens to me when I’m consuming too much information and social media. Watching the news, reading articles, refreshing YouTube for the latest recommendations, endlessly scrolling through Insta.

I take it all in.

But then it doesn’t go anywhere. I’m not doing anything with it. It just fills up my mind and there is no outlet.

With the result that I feel my brain rattling around inside my skull.

It is unpleasant.

It’s not exactly a headache but bordering on one. The pain isn’t so much physical as it is mental.

That is usually when I realise that I have to declutter my mind. If, for instance, a decision must be made after doing a lot of research, I must come to that decision. At some point, I cannot watch yet another review on an item I consider purchasing, especially when all the reviewers essentially repeat the same findings.

I make the purchase and stop doing any further research as it won’t serve any purpose anymore. That’s one way to ease mental pressure.

Another way is to focus on one thing at a time. I often have some mindless show on TV whilst also browsing social media or playing a game on my phone. Many of us do. And we all know that this is not good for us.

So, I stop scrolling through Insta, Facebook, Tumblr or even the news. I either watch what’s on TV (or Netflix, really) and focus on that, or I switch it off entirely. I grab my tablet to read a book instead or grab an actual paperback if one is available.

Sometimes I listen to music and look out the window.

And now, I’ve chosen to write. TV off. Phone off. Lights off. Just my laptop and me.

It’s bedtime soon and I need to give my mind a little time to rest before going to sleep. Otherwise, I’ll have trouble sleeping.

And whilst I know that this consumption of all types of media is not good for me, I’m not consistent when trying to do this mental decluttering. I fall back into this habit over and over again.

Tomorrow, I will at some point have the TV on, my phone in hand and scroll through pages upon pages and pictures, and see everything and nothing. Until mental exhaustion hits again.

Though, I hope I’ll catch myself and develop better habits. I’m trying. Just not always succeeding. Thankfully, I’m not in the habit of beating myself up over my failings.

And neither should you.