All Things Writing

Freelance anxiety

by 2clouds

I suppose this is what you might call the feeling you get when you are in danger of losing a client. It’s not pleasant. There is an element of existential dread because your clients are your source of income. And when you lose one, your income shrinks.

I’m a freelance writer. I have currently one main client I am working for, and it’s been a good working relationship for over six years. Sometimes there has been more work, other times less. They’ve gone through changes as well since they’ve been swallowed by bigger companies several times over the years.

But my main contact has remained the same and he always wanted me to stay on board, which I was happy to do.

Last year, in the wake of the pandemic, I had to let go of a client who had become unreachable and only paid my invoices after I had to remind him repeatedly. He always did pay but having to chase my money made me so anxious that I didn’t want to deal with him anymore. Plus, he never explained what happened.

That left me with one main client as well as another one who only sporadically requested content from me. I made it work and ended up getting enough assignments from my main client to keep going.

After the latest change on their end, I received a new contract to work as a freelance contractor and a set new hourly rate, which is what they preferred to work with. That was fine by me and for the last few months, this has been working quite nicely. I log my hours with my main contact, whom I’ve been working with for such a long time now and things seemed to go smoothly.

But now it has been three weeks since my last assignment and I’ve almost completed the work I was given to keep me going when nothing more urgent was coming in. Once I will have submitted that, I am out of work and that does not feel good.

Thus far, I have always received new assignments, even when work was slow on their end. And I am still meeting the minimum income threshold that I have set myself for my freelance work. But I have no security beyond that.

My other job earns me enough to pay all my bills. So that is covered. But since I work only part-time, it doesn’t earn me enough to help save money for the more pleasant things in life. I can make do for a while. But that’s really not where I want to be right now.

I need more work. I need other streams of income. Perhaps new clients. Or, ideally, I make money with my own blog, right here.

It takes time to build an audience, however. And even more so one that is willing to support your work. I want to offer something that is of value to someone. Ideally, to more than just someone but to many people.

Apart from these musings I have been sharing these last few days, this blog is also meant to provide actual content about minimalism, traveling, and photography. And there is the creative writing I ought to be doing.

I guess I’m going to have to stop musing and get started writing.

It takes a trip

by 2clouds

At home, I am wrapped up in my life. There is work – freelance and part-time jobs -, there are chores at home, grocery shopping, the occasional outing with friends. All that and more. The daily stuff that we do unthinking.

Today I sit on a train. My brother gifted me a weekend in Prague for my birthday six months ago. What with the pandemic and all we only now managed to make a booking. Hence my being on a train. I could have taken a flight. Or perhaps not. Remember the pandemic. The train is, in any case, infinitely more comfortable.

And aside from the physical comfort, I get to enjoy the added benefit of time. After all, when do we ever get the luxury of sitting and spending our time not wrapped up in mindlessness whilst still going someplace?

Instead of browsing through social media, which I do too much of at home, I am reading a book. Yes, on my tablet, which is also where I’m writing this, but it still counts.

Especially since it not only reminded me why I want to write but because it also got me writing.

Later, I will take out my notebook and I’ll see what might emerge from the tip of my pen. For now, I shall return to my book and enjoy this luxury of taking a trip, away from everything else, and having time to spend on thinking thoughts.

Where do I begin?

by 2clouds

Does it begin with an idea or with the mere desire to write something? I keep collecting ideas. I take a note on my phone. Or I use one of my many notebooks and jot it down.

To never return to it. Or to eventually return and wonder what I was on about. Or to discover that the idea had merit and might just be worth pursuing.

Then I do something else yet again.

Procrastination is the worst. One might argue that it serves its purpose. My all-time favourite writer, Neil Gaiman, is known to have taken ten or twenty years before finally turning one idea or another into a book. Coraline and The Graveyard Book spring to mind.

It’s not that I always just avoid writing. I mean, I love writing. I write every day. But working on an idea sometimes seems to require an incredible amount of effort. Deep down, I know it will be worth it to put in the effort. If only for my own sake.

Somehow, though, it seems impossible to even get started. An idea is not enough. I can keep collecting them until I have a whole book full of ideas. But that doesn’t make a story. It will never be more than a collection of ‘what ifs’. Starting points that never amount to anything.

That’s not what I want.

I had an incredibly lazy weekend. I don’t know whether I felt down or if it was the weather, which was too humid and occasionally too warm.

Perhaps I simply suffered too much sun on Friday, which is definitely a possibility as I was on assignment out in the morning and exposed to cloudless skies and a burning sun for more than three hours. I was pretty exhausted once I got home. Chances are, I needed the weekend to recover.

But I also promised myself on Sunday evening to be productive come Monday. I even made a to-do list for Monday and Tuesday. Thus far, I’ve ticked off all the items.

I also did plenty of writing, which was the main point. I kept the to-do list realistic and every time I ticked off an item, I felt satisfied. I’m planning on continuing that for the next few days and see how I go.

In any case, another item I will need to add is creative writing. Ages ago I had an idea for a story that has not left me, and I want to work on it. I’ve made a bunch of notes in a bunch of places and actually starting work on that might just be a good beginning.

When I started this blog, I had the idea of publishing the story in several parts here. It’ll be a while before I get there, but I certainly hope to have something publishable at some point.

I guess, when you don’t know where to begin, writing about it and sorting your thoughts is as good a start as any.

Dramatic afternoon skies over the North Atlantic.